寫出簡明的句子
Writing Concise Sentences

 


不管一個句子是由兩個字還是兩百個字所構成,它必定是一部精明幹練、充滿思想的機器。以下為一些可以讓你的寫作簡明扼要、言簡意賅的訣竅。

blueball.gif (924 bytes) 瘦身減肥、消除贅肉
  相同的事情不要說兩次
  Many uneducated citizens who have never attended school continue to vote for better schools.
  累贅的片語是寫作的壞習慣,將使你寫出來的句子有如老太婆的裹腳布又臭又長,軟弱無力。注意下面的片語:

贅肉版

瘦身版

12 midnight midnight
12 noon noon
3 am in the morning 3 am
absolutely
spectacular/phenomenal
spectacular/phenomenal
a person who is honest an honest person
a total of 14 birds 14 birds
biography of her life biography
circle around circle
close proximity proximity
completely unanimous unanimous
consensus of opinion consensus
cooperate together cooperate
each and every each
enclosed herewith enclosed
end result result
exactly the same the same
final completion completion
frank and honest exchange frank exchange or honest exchange
free gift gift
he/she is a person who . . . he/she
important/basic essentials essentials
in spite of the fact that although
in the field of economics/law
enforcement
in economics/law enforcement
in the event that if
job functions job or functions
new innovations innovations
one and the same the same
particular interest interest
period of four days four days
personally, I think/feel I think/feel
personal opinion opinion
puzzling in nature puzzling
refer back refer
repeat again repeat
return again return
revert back revert
shorter/longer in length shorter/longer
small/large in size small/large
square/round/rectangular in shape square/round/rectangular
summarize briefly summarize
surrounded on all sides surrounded
surrounding circumstances circumstances
the future to come the future
there is no doubt but that no doubt
usual/habitual custom custom
we are in receipt of we have received
  

縮寫的冗贅

cd.gif (3793 bytes)由於在日益科技化的世界,我們越來越仰賴縮寫 (abbreviations)和頭字語 (acronyms),一種特殊的冗贅正在我們現代世界中擴散蔓延。"ATM machine" 是冗贅的說法,因為 ATM 就是 Automated Teller Machine (自動提款機) 的縮寫。同理,"HIV virus" 和 " AIDS syndrome" 亦是冗贅的說法,因為 HIV 意謂 Human Immunodeficiency Virus (人類免疫不足病毒__愛滋病毒),而 AIDS 意謂 Acquired ImmunoDeficiency Syndrome (後天免疫不足症候群__愛滋病);"CPU unit" 亦然,因為 CPU 意謂 Central Processing Unit (中央處理器)。當我們以 "CPU units" 來表示複數時,這聽起來特別可笑,因為這不就變成了 Central Processing Unit units。所以,當我們在演說 (尤其是在正式寫作中) 使用縮寫或頭字語時,最好事先弄懂各個字母的意思,以免製造新的冗贅。

blueball.gif (924 bytes) 可以省略的片語
  特別注意對句子的意思沒有任何助益的片語;這些片語會立即讓讀者提防寫作者的吹噓、胡謅,更糟糕的是,它們讓讀者昏昏欲睡。
all things considered All things considered, Connecticut's  woodlands are in better shape now than  ever before.
All things considered, Connecticut's   woodlands are in better shape now than  ever before.
as a matter of fact As a matter of fact, there are more  woodlands in Connecticut now than there  were in 1898.
as a matter of fact, There are more   woodlands in Connecticut now than there  were in 1898.
as far as I'm concerned As far as I'm concerned, there is no need  for further protection of woodlands.
As far as I'm concerned, there There is no  need for further protection of woodlands.
at the present time This is because there are fewer farmers at  the present time.
This is because there are fewer farmers  now.
because of the fact that Woodlands have grown in area because  of the fact that farmers have abandoned  their fields.
Woodlands have grown in area because  farmers have abandoned their fields.
by means of Major forest areas are coming back by  means of natural processes.
Major forest areas are coming back  through natural processes. (or naturally)
by virtue of the fact that Our woodlands are coming back by virtue  of the fact that our economy has shifted  its emphasis.
Our woodlands are coming back by virtue   of the fact that because our economy has  shifted its emphasis.
due to the fact that Due to the fact that their habitats are  being restored, forest creatures are also  re-establishing their population bases.
Due to the fact that Because their habitats  are being restored, forest creatures are  also re-establishing their population  bases.
exists The fear that exists among many people  that we are losing our woodlands is  uncalled for.
The fear that exists among many people  that we are losing our woodlands is  uncalled for.
for all intents and purposes The era in which we must aggressively  defend our woodlands has, for all intents  and purposes, passed.
The era in which we must aggressively  defend our woodlands has, for all intents  and purposes, passed.
for the most part For the most part, people's suspicions are  based on a misunderstanding of the facts.
For the most part, pPeople's suspicions  are based on a misunderstanding of the  facts.
for the purpose of Many woodlands, in fact, have been  purchased for the purpose of creating  public parks.
Many woodlands, in fact, have been  purchased for the purpose of creating as  public parks.
have a tendency to This policy has a tendency to isolate some
communities.
This policy has a tendency tends to isolate  some communities.
in a manner of speaking The policy has, in a manner of speaking, begun to Balkanize the more rural parts of   our state.
The policy has, in a manner of speaking,   begun to Balkanize the more rural parts of  our state.
in a very real sense In a very real sense, this policy works to  the detriment of those it is supposed to  help.
In a very real sense, this This policy  works to the detriment of those it is  supposed to help.
in my opinion In my opinion, this wasteful policy ought  to be revoked.
In my opinion, thisThis wasteful policy  ought to be revoked.
in the case of In the case of this particular policy,  citizens of northeast Connecticut became  very upset.
Citizens of northeast Connecticut became  very upset about his policy.
in the final analysis In the final analysis, the state would have  been better off without such a policy.
In the final analysis, the The state would  have been better off without such a  policy.
in the event that In the event that enough people protest, it  will probably be revoked.
If enough people protest, it will probably  be revoked.
in the nature of Something in the nature of a repeal may  soon take place.
Something in the nature oflike a repeal  may soon take place.
in the process of Legislators are already in the process of  reviewing the statutes.
Legislators are already in the process of   reviewing the statutes.
it seems that It seems that they can't wait to get rid of  this one.
It seems that they They can't wait to get  rid of this one.
manner They have monitored the activities of  conservationists in a cautious manner.
They have cautiously monitored the  activities of conservationists.
the point I am trying to make The point I am trying to make is that  sometimes public policy doesn't  accomplish what it set out to achieve.
The point I am trying to make is that   someSometimes public policy doesn't  accomplish what it set out to achieve.
type of Legislators need to be more careful of the  type of policy they propose.
Legislators need to be more careful of the  type of policy they propose.
what I mean to say is What I mean to say is that well  intentioned lawmakers sometimes make   fools of themselves.
What I mean to say is that well Well   intentioned lawmakers sometimes make  fools of themselves.

blueball.gif (924 bytes) 將子句減化為片語,將片語減化為單字
  注意可以減化為更簡單、更簡短結構的子句或片語;「which子句」通常可以減化為簡單的形容詞。然而,請注意別因過份減化而失去必要的強調。 "which"這個字有時是必要的,別把它當成眼中釘,欲除之而後快。
  • Smith College, which was founded in 1871, is the premier all-women's  college in the United States.
  • Founded in 1871, Smith College is the premier all-women's college in the  United States.
  • Citizens who knew what was going on voted him out of office.
  • Knowledgeable citizens voted him out of office.
  • Recommending that a student copy from another student's paper is not  something he would recommend.
  • He wouldn't recommend that a student copy from another student's paper.
    (或 "He would never tell a student to copy . . . .")
片語有時也可減化為單一個字。
  • Unencumbered by a sense of responsibility, Jasion left his wife with forty-nine kids and a can of beans.
  • Jasion irresponsibly left his wife with forty-nine kids and a can of beans.
    (或者連 irresponsibly 也省略,讓動作本身來說明 Jasion 拋妻棄子的不負責任。)

blueball.gif (924 bytes) 沒有加強語氣效果的副詞
  不必要時,避免使用 really, very, quite, extremely, severely 等字。我們只要說 "the salary increase is inadequate." 就夠了。如果說 "it is severely inadequate." 可能給人一種歇斯底里的感覺。這些字眼不應從你的字彙中刪除,但少用時反而可達到最佳的效果。

blueball.gif (924 bytes) 避免虛字 (假主詞) 結構
  這聽起來好像是政治人物必須學習來避免的事物,非也! 以 there is/areit is 做開頭的虛字結構 (expletive construction) 往往使句子的能量喪失,軟趴趴地無力表現句子的中心意旨。
  • There are twenty-five students who have already expressed a desire to attend the program next summer. It is they and their parents who stand to gain the most by the government grant.
  • Twenty-five students have already expressed a desire to attend the program next summer. They and their parents stand to gain the most by the government grant.

Guide to Grammar and Writing